michael che matters transcript

I told a joke about the N word at another show. He was a super-likable presence during his brief stint on The Daily Show in 2014, and a welcome addition to the on-screen talent of SNL that same year, after working behind the scenes as a writer. The guys-n-girls schlock is just there to cushion the things he actually wants to talk about. Can I say it? I dont know, try it. . Did you know periods make broads tomatoes ladies irritable? It started slowly. "Saturday Night Live" star Michael Che takes on hot-button topics like inequality, homophobia and gentrification in this stand-up set filmed live in Brooklyn. Maybe theres something I dont know? It makes me, you know Any time a white guy asks me if they can say the N word, it feels like an alcoholic asking if they can have a sip of my drink. fue P FF | t { { 1 1 7 yh eas 4 ; | i i aaa Phat . The only proof of Jesuss carpentry is if maybe, in that Last Supper poster hes showing off a table he just made. Nick, if your white friend said, Im having a baby, and you said, What you gonna name him? and he said, Jesus, youd be like, What the fuck is wrong with Bill? I just saw that picture, I just couldnt believe it. Not only is Che's laser-like focus on anyone who hurts his feelings exhausting to watch, it's deeply embarrassingfor SNL, for fans watching, and most of all, for him. Yeah? Zo Felbein: I definitely think there is a lot more libertarian students than they realize they are. Agh!. Really? I think Jesus had a lot of white friends. "I think . Because if I lose, that means he gets to say it again. Audio. When they get into trouble, Peter needs help from old friends to save the day. Che barely mentions COVID deaths or disease, but he can seem melancholy and inward, his thoughts dwelling on criticisms hes gotten and whether he feels they were deserved. Follow officers from a South Carolina sheriffs department as they urgently search for individuals who've disappeared under troubling circumstances. No dicks in this family. No? All rights reserved. That never made sense to me. I felt bad so I tried to do crowd work to loosen them up, make them have fun again. I believe in God, I just dont like to bother him. Of course. -Never? Women are looking at me like, What the fuck you saying? Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Audio . The only reason for a person to be able to purchase an assault rifle is if maybe youve gotta discipline a gorilla. Fuck you. White girls dancing, Honest, uncompromising comedy where no topic is out of bounds, See production, box office & company info, Late Night with Seth Meyers: Casey Affleck/Rebecca Romijn/Michael Che/Atom Willard, Greenpoint Terminal Warehouse, 73 West Street, Brooklyn, New York City, New York, USA. If I told George Bush a dirty joke, hed be like, God damn, them n*ggers funny. Tell Jeb. And Clinton would be like, I got a better one. Thats who you wanna hang out with, right? "SNL" star Michael Che takes on hot-button topics like inequality, homophobia and gentrification in this stand-up set filmed live in Brooklyn. And even then, Im like, Im reaching for the potatoes. He hates that shit. Its just the same straight girls from straight porn. For the most part, though, Che was careful when stepping into offensive territory to first openly acknowledge that he was doing so, and second, to make a larger point in order to justify it. It follows Bert Kreischer as he spills on bodily emissions, being bullied by his kids and the end to his familys escape room outing. We all do. When were doing good, when its safe. Aghhh! Theyd taser me. But on the way, they must confront what it means to be different. I have. His tired air lends real edge to his comments about a racist America, the unending sense of being unwelcome, the way you still cant find wave grease in a CVS, the dogged ignorance that white people maintain about their own neighbors. Equal rights. Ve trileres y ms. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on. Good night! Not right now. Young Queen Charlotte's marriage to King George of England sparks an epic love story and transforms high society in this "Bridgerton" universe prequel. Are you miked? We can watch movies of people killing and dying and blood and gore. Thats a controversial statement. Melanie Lynskey, Seth Meyers, and More Support WGA Amid Negotiations. We cant agree on that shit? I dont Im not homophobic but I dont judge people that are homophobic because I dont know your life, I cant tell you what to be afraid of. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. Now, you might think Im crazy, but about five years ago there was a fella named Bruce Jenner", A week later, he made sexist and ageist comments on the show after a 67-year-old woman gave birth in China. Because I watch porn on a subway. Subscribe now Three days at least. No, never? Michael Che Matters. They were like, Hit her! I was like, Im not gonna hit her. Shes 100 percent correct. I dont wanna any offend Christians. Im mad pro-choice. Go behind the scenes of Netflix TV shows and movies, see what's coming soon and watch bonus videos on. You deserve this. He said, God bless you, brother. I was like, Hey, its the least I could do. He was like, Can I get a hug? and I was like, No. I said, Ill shake your hand. He shook my hand and it was soaking wet. Im gonna be up here a while. As protests continue to rage over the death of George Floyd, " Saturday Night Live " comedian Michael Che had a bittersweet response to the reemergence of his 2016 Black Lives Matter stand-up routine. Young blood, why you in here? I killed a bunch of gay dudes. You cant do that no more? Damn! Theres real shit going on! Che prompted a mix of laughter and groans when he said: "She can breastfeed just by standing over the crib," and "doctors described the birth as pulling a penny out of a wad of gum.. Theres still states I havent been to. "SNL" star Michael Che takes on hot-button topics like inequality, homophobia and gentrification in this stand-up set filmed live in Brooklyn. Shut up. Theyll tell you when that shits creepy, too. I just added a Y. Its a fucking Y. Whats so hurtful about a Y? And she was like, Well, how would you like it if I called you blacky? Well played, tranny, well played. to support our journalism and get unlimited access to our coverage. "I just recently stopped using the word 'tranny' because a trans friend of mine told me how much it hurts," he said. Genres. Michael Che loves to mess with his cop brother at Thanksgiving dinner and he is confused why Black Lives Matters is a controversial statement. Dressed as Karl Lagerfelds beloved cat, Choupette. Theyll fuck what goes in a salad. ", In the same Outline article, an Uproxx critic named Steven Hyden describes coming under similar fire after writing an article about Che's "Weekend Update" co-anchor Colin Jost that described him as "the epitome of white-male mediocrity." I dont give a fuck about Cecil the gorilla. But thats not my fantasy, Nick. Nobody? Required fields are marked *. I just wanted to help this guy out, so I walked up to him and I reached in my pocket, but I felt I had one bill in my pocket, and I pulled the bill out and I saw it was a 20 and he saw it was a 20 I was like, I cant blue-ball this guy, I gotta give him the whole You cant just walk up to homeless people and be like, Oh, no! Fundamentals General, Organic, Biological Chemistry I (CHE 121) Organic Chemistry I (CHE 201/211) Newest. Ah, take that chicken. I dont gotta hunt. He mentions the January 6 violence with mock awe That was some good fucking looting, he marvels. Have you ever heard that before? But hes also gonna meet somebody that was alive at a time when what he did was okay. The most gripping TV drama of the year is happening behind closed doors. But were the creeps. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. Nick watches porn! What the fuck is less than matters? Thank you so much! Moving on. In that Netflix special, brilliant material about Black Lives Matter, religion and gentrification rubbed uncomfortably up against jokes making light of street harassment and homelessness, and criticizing the sexual practices of both straight women and gay men. After a while, you just wanna know if your voice works. That sound weird? ("hes one of those bearded white guys with glasses that hates snl, but talks a lot about snl.. not much about his personal life on there, but im sure its awesome."). In these sections, which sharpen into excellence, his manifest exhaustion becomes part of the message. Last time, the vibe was ecstatic:In Michael Che Matters, he bounced excitedly around a thrust stage, dipping his microphone stand like a dancer; a band kept his entrance and exit loud. Anybody. Sex Like, toys that they have sex with. It should be number two. 5-Down, Eight Letters: Show that gave us New New York. Its not offensive, is it, Paul? Not hell. Its really Its awful. -Nobody gives a fuck about gorillas. I dont fuck with him. Not saying we should start prepping but we should start prepping. You like red lobster? If I was president, Id have an all white girl army. You gotta earn racism. You cant just say n*gger. . Stand-Up Comedy, Comedies. Very excited about today's episode. Like, Well, all lives matter. Really? They can fuck salad. I thought it was a tourism commercial. Thats the only thing. Why? The N words a tricky word, you know? I dont fuck with him. I dont like cat-calling. Gays are fighting for equal rights. Hes that white guy with that black guy name. Paul, I think Jesus was a shitty carpenter. I grew up poor. How so? Women, youre very creepy. But he also has better, deeper stuff than that, and in Shame the Devil, he too briefly touches on it. Watch trailers & learn more. A military-trained assassin comes out of hiding to protect the daughter she's never met from ruthless criminals gunning for revenge. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. Im delivering pizza to a sorority and they cant pay for it. Hes got a gun. They fuck a severed penis toy. The use of the word ladies is a tell. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. I think he was bad at carpentry and they destroyed all his work because they knew we wouldnt respect him. After dedicating years of service at a matchmaking company, Arini tries to piece together her mysterious past and memories of a former client. "SNL" star Michael Che takes on hot-button topics like inequality, homophobia and gentrification in this stand-up set filmed live in Brooklyn. Or as I call it, the list of white guy perks. 8.1 1028. How many times was Jesuss carpentry teacher like, This tables not level, and hes like, All right, check it again, Im Jesus? I wanna make sure I can still go. Password must be at least 8 characters and contain: As part of your account, youll receive occasional updates and offers from New York, which you can opt out of anytime. What does that mean? The Constitution is white FUBU. You know what it feels like, Donald Trumps campaign? But gun rights are there, number two. They gasped! White women take whatever the fuck they want. Thats why they dont have to be creepy. Could you imagine what that n*gga went through? . But I agree, right now is not the time. Fuck you. I think that was phase one. Because a trans friend of mine told me how much it hurt. "SNL" star Michael Che takes on hot-button topics like inequality, homophobia and gentrification in this stand-up set filmed live in Brooklyn. You ever had a salad? At least tell me that. I dont wanna go to hell, Paul. They're like . Come on. Review the document, case details, and relevant case updates to stay informed on this notable legal proceeding. You talking more like, that night, like the leather suit special. Im looking at the audience, I know a lot of people arent coming with me on this. Whats your white name? Oh, never forget. Thats why this September, Im getting a T-shirt that says, All Buildings Matter. And Im gonna see how that works. And theres shit thats okay now that wasnt okay a long time ago. I thought me, you and Paul had a thing going, man. As fucked up as that was, it did bring to light a lot of issues that we needed to discuss. If you are a public figure actively working in a profession that attracts critics, it goes without saying that having a much thicker skin than this is an essential part of the job. She was proud. Let me go to the store and buy something I dont need to make change suitable for your life. I didnt know that was a real saying. hinting he might make a crack about Simone Biles, Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Which leads me to believe that somebody fucked a dog one time and just kept comparing it to every mistake anybody else has made ..until that shit stuck as something normal to drop into conversation. When Red and Yellow welcome a baby caterpillar into their lives, they get a crash course in parenting and all things putrid. Ban See soe a RCS 00 hes , 00 0 00 det eh Seed, : i U 9 2. Well played, tranny. His other dominant theme is criticism. Can we get civil? K.C. Remember when they came out, they knew it would be their night, or some kind of extraness? Just Its frustrating to be called a creep because women are just as creepy as men. Michael Che in Washington, D.C, October 2019. Downloads only available on ad-free plans. As a country, we just cant agree. Okay. You know what Im saying? Not me. ` = ~ = hd fe FE TET Pas Fo HY. Michael Che Matters. I couldnt be upset with her. Apparently weve hit a rough patch. Dont feel bad. I grew up in a bad neighborhood. I dont know exactly what gay guys do. Me, the whitest guy Ive ever seen and Christian Paul. You watch Christian porn or something? It was cool. Okay! No? People had a good time, forgot what I was talking about. Never. No, man! I think its hysterical! Why do we always gotta get over shit? Comedies, Stand-Up Comedy. Maybe thats your fantasy. I was watching the news, some lady from the government was on there, she looked right in the camera and she was like, We owe China $11 trillion. I was like, We? I dont owe China shit. You owe China $11 trillion. Thats amazing! Should start buying in Harlem. I did. As Egypt's last pharaoh, Cleopatra fights to protect her throne, family and legacy in this docudrama featuring reenactments and expert interviews. Good night! You ever been called a creep, Paul? In the wake of her prom scandal, Princess Margrethe longs for normalcy as she struggles to maintain her perfect facade while dealing with family drama. What follows: Che speaking . Never? A chaotic intervention. Turns out I look for different things in a best friend than I do a president. Stand-Up Comedy, Comedies. Thats some sturdy shit. Search the history of over 806 billion And we keep him around because hes funny as fuck. Lesley B. Cormack Steven A. Walton John A. Schuster Editors. Came back to his friends with a big milk stache, like, All right, hear me out. I just refuse to learn his name on account that hes a gorilla. My neighborhood got gentrified by baristas. Who dont watch porn? Former SNL Weekend Update co-anchor and The Daily Show Correspondent Michael Che performs. They was like, Yall can come in, but that n*gger baby gotta sleep in that puppy bed outside. Keep him in that manger over there if you insist on having that black baby. I dont trust it. You understand what Im saying, Nick, right? In the article, Allison describes in detail how Che repeatedly reignited their squabble online, criticizing Allison's career ("continue to submit your packet to shows that dont know/like you! Uh-huh. I dont know why men are so obsessed with their dicks, he says. I dont Its a miracle, yeah. I also think Jesus was black because they couldnt find a place to stay. -You dont. What do you type in the search box? You\'ll receive the next newsletter in your inbox. Because theres only one hell, right? The signs have been there for a while. Just like Like on a straight way, you just let him Ahhh! She needs your hat to dance. Also, I shit in your bed. He was born and raised on Manhattan's Lower East Side, and attended the prestigious . Hes a human being, so I gave him $20. v. Michael R. White, Criminal Court Of The City Of New York, New York City Department Of Finance Parking Violations Bureau, New York City Environmental Control Board, New York City Transit Adjudication Bureau, Capital One Bank Usa Na, John Doe #1 Through #6, And Jane Doe #1 Through #6, The Last Twelve Names Being Fictitious, It . I think I got time to Nope, no Christmas for you. They fuck their toys, dude. Why are we pretending we dont all have a Donald Trump friend? "SNL" star Michael Che takes on hot-button topics like inequality, homophobia and gentrification in this stand-up set filmed live in Brooklyn. Pretty good. Thanks, Willy. Remember that cat-calling video? Its a milder, less consistent version of Dave Chappelles nasty gag about feminism What could I possibly be saying that would make these bitches think I hate women? delivered with Ches youngest-sibling-style pleading. In an interview. Watch offline. I can understand that. All right? My crops coming in. Im growing some lesbians. You on a date? Like, that guy from the Orlando ISIS. Michael Che Matters (Trailer) More Details. Just took the scariest part of my childhood. "SNL" star Michael Che takes on hot-button topics like inequality, homophobia and gentrification in this stand-up set filmed live in Brooklyn. While visiting family in Mexico, a lonely boy befriends a mythical creature hiding on his grandfather's ranch and embarks on the adventure of a lifetime. Michael Che Matters. As a carpenter. Without moving from his stool or shifting his slouch, Che runs sleepily through his act in the cavernous darkness of Oaklands Fox Theater. Yo, Che! You might not be homophobic, you might not be racist, but maybe youve got some fucked-up views on something, and if youre not honest about it, how are you ever gonna get better?

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